These are techniques I have personally used to heal my mother wound and even some of the fatherly wounds I’ve acquired along the way. We all have different styles of feeling loved because we’re human, we’re complex. When we take the time to nurture ourselves, we can begin to heal internal wounding and holes.
Exercise your boundaries by saying no
This was the first step I took for healing, it’s so empowering. Even to people who are closest to you, you start realizing. People will love you even if you say no, and if they don’t. They don’t truly want what is best for you, which who wants a person who doesn’t genuinely have your best interest in life? And at that point, it’s time to disengage.
A large fear most of us keep in the back of their heads is called groupthink, we believe when we exercise our boundaries or speak up against the group we’re in. We will be shunned and rejected. It’s a sad reality, but I promise. It becomes very empowering once you conquer those fears and know that the ones who are true will stick by you.
Cut the need to give away your power
It limits your progress when you’re constantly allowing others to have power over your emotions and well-being. I’m still admittedly working on this as I get pretty attached towards people, but I will admit. Only worrying about my own stuff has made life easier for me, and I don’t mean that as oh screw everyone. Worrying about your own emotional needs and allowing others to take care of themselves empowers everyone.
When we give up control and allow others to sort through themselves and we take responsibility for our own actions + emotions. Life becomes easier and our power remains secure within ourselves.
Have the guts to nurture yourself
If you’re like me, you probably have a hard time receiving love. I used to feel people only complimented me because they felt sorry for me. I never felt I was pretty and a lot of times felt stupid through emotional abuse. I’m sharing this with you all not because of a need for attention. I just want people to know that what we see ourselves in a state of low-self esteem is not true. Please, in those times. Try not to talk to yourself so harshly and find even one good thing you know about yourself. Focus on that, and do nice things to reward yourself every time you choose self-love.
Acknowledge your strengths more often than not
This is what helps us out of the darkness. If we continue to recognize what we bring to the table, we start becoming more confident in what divinely collides us into who we are. Once we’re able to know our strengths, we stop the comparison. There IS no comparison when you’re you, and I am me. This is where confidence comes into play, it’s a wonderful tool for becoming confident in ones self. Each and everyone of us has something different + positive to bring to the table.
Embrace your inner father
When someone is blatantly stepping over your boundaries, or you’re being mean to yourself. Come in and say “heck to the no, I will not be treated like that.” Embrace that inner masculinity and fight(respectfully, of course) for your rights. Be a protector of your own heart. If you feel you would benefit if someone left your life, cut them out. If you feel like you need to give yourself a talking to when you’re being mean towards yourself. Then, hear yourself out. Discover why you feel the need to be mean to yourself(meditation comes handy here.) Do self-exploration with your inner mean girl/guy.
Stay receptive and open to possibility
Please do not let anything close your heart, always keep your heart pure and allow the pain of the past to make you stronger and more empathetic towards others. There were so many times in my life when I wanted to give up, and remain bitter. I’m so happy I stood towards the path and followed my heart. I’m finally at a position where I don’t feel I need anyone, I choose who I have in my life. I’m not perfect and I can’t say my self-esteem is optimal, but I have enough will-power to not expect others to fill holes within me. I choose to love myself first and foremost and then I choose to have people within my life depending on life, intuition or whatever. I used to be very co-dependent, needy, controlling, and violent. It’s really hard to see my old self because I feel so free from those emotions which came from lack. It seems so different from me in the present.
I wrote this post because I believe there is hope within dark moments of our lives and we can overcome hardships in life. I know how it is to be on the verge of death, but once you come back to life. Clarity comes and you start to see life with a different perception.