I’m an empath and healer. I’ve been this way my whole life, yet didn’t start embracing it until 2 years ago. I had a major awakening, so much where I ended up staying in the house for an entire year. I didn’t want to be around anyone, I would come out of my cave on Sunday’s to work at my serving job and go right back in after I was finished.
In my youth, I saw black shadows and felt spirits around me. I delved into spiritual books at my elementary school library. I had spirits knocking, switching tv channels, turning up the radio, the whole sha-bang. I was surrounded by candles and bathed in essential oils. I wore necklaces with crystals and feminine symbols almost as if I knew what they meant, deep down I did. I played outside a lot and created my own special recipes using leaves, dirt and berries. I was a natural child even though I grew up in the city. I listened to the trees and animals around me, I was a little shaman at heart.
I had a pretty rough childhood, and in my teens I went through a series of bad habits and bad relationships. I never trusted my inner guidance even though I was constantly saved from really terrible experiences. I know I had angels around me, I tested so many limits and came out unscathed. I lost myself through a lot of self-hatred that stemmed from severe emotional abuse in my childhood. You never really understand how something effects you until you look from the outside.
I feel this was all planned now and I don’t regret my journey. I used to cry about it a lot and sometimes I still mourn, but I do realize I had to face that in order to understand life the way I do now. A lot of sensitive’s come from really harsh circumstances and they turn to addictions to save them from facing their truth as it’s real hard to bear. I definitely felt alone in this world many times,
Sometimes, I still feel the sense of loneliness; but I know I have people now that I can rely on and that means the world to me. I still have problems trusting my intuition and instincts. I ignore these subtle signs within my body saying no, don’t do that or YES, YES, YES, DO IT, DO IT, DO IT!!! Why? Most of the time it’s fear holding me back from my dreams, it’s doubt created from myself.
I had a narcissistic mother and my father was very great, but he also put a lot of adult duties on me as well. Both of my parents suffer from mental illnesses. I have suspicions I do too, but I don’t label myself in that way. I learned at a young age how to handle my depression in a healthy way, on my own. My father has very great morale. My mother doesn’t, everyone and everything is a tool for her. I was a very serious child and ran the show most of the time with my mother as she was more of the child to me. That’s where I developed a lot of my caretaker, co-dependent roles.
We all go through a series of issues within our lives, but we have to understand a lot of it was needed in order to learn in this life time. I believe until we really understand ourselves. We will face the same lessons over and over as a mirror being held in front of us. We manifest a lot in this world and the repetitive thoughts we tell ourselves add up eventually. So listen, listen to your body when something doesn’t feel right. When you feel tense, or your stomach feels weird. Or, you get offended. Stop, listen and reflect on why you felt that. Don’t judge your feelings, just listen.
Sometimes you will be over-stimulated and you feel those feelings, yet you are too scattered to listen, forgive yourself and learn the lesson at hand. I feel a lot of my path could have been easier if I would have listened to my inner self, what it needed because my body and soul tell me what I need right away. Yet, if I don’t listen and act on those feelings. Well, I get hurt. There are misunderstandings or I choose a path that didn’t resonate with who I am.
Being true to yourself is the most well-received gift of self-love you can give yourself.
Our bodies intuitively know when you don’t listen, and when that happens. our intuition becomes dormant. I feel a lot of us live life in a numb state where we don’t listen to our true feelings out of fear of criticism or change. Until we can hear our subtle bodies, we will never live the life we desire. Healing ourselves starts with listening to our true desires.
Do you listen to your soul and body? Share your tips and experiences in the comment’s below. I’d love to hear them.